Author: Emily Sara Smucker

Eat melons for breakfast everyday Use satin sheets and pillowcases Wear saddle shoes with little lacy socks Have a little round-topped wooden door in the basement leading to a room filled with a large vcr, comfy couches, and old Disney movies Use giant ceramic mushrooms as end tables Wear homemade satin underwear Have a room…

The bathroom in the library is cute. I mean, it is full of green tiles. I am obsessed with green bathrooms. Yeah, I will admit that it is not as cute as the one in the picture, but still, it is green. That’s the pro. The con is, the door shuts really slowly but it…

Everyone on campus is suddenly wearing moccasins. I do not get it. Personally I think they are quite ugly. To each his own, I guess. Thin plastic headbands. Everyone is wearing them. I think they look kind of strange with a ponytail but fine with hanging hair. I thought uggs were a thing of the…

When people ask me how college is going, I say, “great!” It is a truth, but not all the truth. I love college. I love my classes. But I hate being alone. I specifically chose a place to live where I would not be alone. It backfired. I didn’t immediately connect with my landlords or roommate. It…

I went to a costume party last night. It was completely unrelated to Halloween. It was a birthday party. I was considering going all whack-a-doodle and dressing up as Clark, the fan that I became friends with (and ultimately killed) when I lived with Esta, but I didn’t. I sort of ran out of time.…

You know I’m obsessed with dreams, right? Well the dream I had last night was just too great to keep from you all. The title of it was “Amish Cinderella.” I wanted to make a movie, in my dream, and I decided that the easiest thing to do would be to re-tell the Cinderella story.…

Politics has always been one of those things that I just couldn’t get into, but I wished I could, because it seems like something useful to know or at least be familiar with. I listen to the news to and from school, hoping that if I hear terms like “tea party” and “Christine O’Donnell” tossed around…

There was one time when I realized that  I didn’t really know a whole lot about the French Revolution. So I went to Wikipedia, typed in “French Revolution,” and skimmed over the page that came up. There was all the basic information that I needed. Another time, I needed a toilet plunger. So I went…

I was reading through an old diary last night and I found this, which I thought was funny. He handed me some food and my hand brushed against his which seemed like something out of a book until I realized that I had scratched him. So I said, “sorry about scratching you like that.” “That’s…

I have a habit of coming up with some crazy money-making scheme and then realizing a few days later how lame-o and impossible it is and dropping the matter completely. Right now my idea is videotaping weddings for a business. Wouldn’t that be so much fun? Like, you could have a close up camera and…