MOP April 5: Why It’s Nice to Have Married Friends

I am just about too tired to think. So forgive me if this post is semi-incoherent. I had friends over this morning, went to class in the early afternoon, and then spent the rest of the day with my friend Esta. I had a bunch of post ideas bouncing around in my head, but what is currently at the forefront of my mind is how nice it is to have married friends.

When I was growing up, I rarely saw single women forming close friendships with married women. I don’t know if I just didn’t notice them, or if my area was weird, or if that is just the norm. If it’s the norm I think it’s a shame.

I’ve always been a fan of befriending people outside my age group, which included married people, but it’s only been in the past couple years that most of the people in my age group actually got married and started having children. Conversation topic shifted from cute boys to maternity clothing.

I wonder if that’s why single people don’t always want to hang out with married ladies–because the things they talk about are not exactly relatable. But I think that’s selling married ladies short. First, because after they discuss cloth diapers for a while, they move on and talk about personality tests and history and the educational system and all sorts of interesting things. Motherhood may be on the forefront of their minds but they still have diverse interests.

Second, the big scary unknown of marriage and motherhood becomes a lot less scary and unknown when you are close friends with married people. It may be “unrelatable” to hear them recount their birth stories, but it certainly is useful information if you think you may someday have a child yourself.

Obviously it’s not just the married-single thing–it is always worth it to be able to befriend people who are unlike you. But today I have especially been thinking about, and been thankful for, the opportunity to have married friends as a single person.

Check out Mom’s first MOP post here. Stay tuned for Jenny‘s post tomorrow.