MOP April 7: Making the Most of the Life Stage You’re Currently In

A picture of Jenny just because she’s pretty.


Right now, I want to write another book. I know exactly what I want to write. I sit and daydream about pulling out my pencils and digging into a stack of old notebooks and organizing my ideas. I research how to write book proposals.

But.

I am not at a life stage where I can write a book.

It took me a while to come to terms with this. I’ve tried for years to be a writer and a college student at the same time, and it worked, to some extent. I wrote things. Just not things like whole entire books.

I know that I’ll be done with college eventually and can write a book then. But will I? Deep down I have a fear that if I don’t find time to write a book now, I will never find time to write a book.

After my last blog post about the perks of having married friends, someone commented saying it was nice that I’m secure in my singlehood, because many people can’t view singleness as a gift. My first thought was this: It would be much easier to view singleness as a gift if I knew for sure that I would eventually get married.

There are many, many perks to the life I currently live. A young mother recently told me that I need to appreciate my long interrupted hours of reading while I still can. As a college student I get to spend the majority of my time learning, thinking over the complex and beautiful issues of the world. Very little in my life could be described as “mundane.” There is a carefree independence to being single, and college offers a way to make friends with an ease that will probably never again be replicated in my life.

However, neither one is a stage I want to stay in forever.

There are some stages of life that we just survive. Seasons of illness and times of grief, for instance. If you want to know how to make the most of those stages of life, don’t look here, I haven’t got a clue. But singleness isn’t like that, and neither is college, and neither is the stage of having wild young children, or grown children that haven’t gotten married yet. These are all stages we will one day be nostalgic for, and yet our enjoyment of them, right now, is hampered by our longing to be in the next stage and fears that it will  never happen.

I don’t exactly know how to change that feeling. It’s one thing to say, “appreciate the stage  you’re at now,” but what are some practical steps to actually doing it?

Then again, this isn’t Buzzfeed. I don’t need a list of “ten practical ways to appreciate the single college student stage of life (number 14 will surprise you).” Tonight I will celebrate my singleness by staying up past midnight chatting with an old friend, and tomorrow I will make the most of my studenthood by talking to Garrett who sits next to me in class. I don’t know why I don’t talk to him. He seems like a nice enough guy, albeit kinda quiet.

What stage of life are you struggling to appreciate? Any tips to offer?

Read Jenny’s April 6 MOP post here. Stay tuned for a post tomorrow on Mom’s blog.

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5 responses to “MOP April 7: Making the Most of the Life Stage You’re Currently In

  1. joanna nissley

    such a good way for me to start out my day; thank you for your thoughts! i’ve always struggled to accept the stage i was in simply because i have this nasty habit (really sin) of jealousy & comparison. what others have looks so good though! =( even though learning this lesson is hard, i’m so thankful my Jesus continues to pursue me in this. He kept wooing me in my singleness until i married at almost 29, & now at 35, He’s still gently letting me know that He is enough even & especially if we never have children.

    i’d encourage you to focus on your blessings & basically, try to forget what you think you’re missing out on. live in the moment that Jesus has placed you in right now, & by God’s grace, i’ll do the same in my moment. blessings to you!

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  2. Sandra Miller

    How to make the most of your life in the stage you are in now?

    When our daughter was terminally ill with cancer the LORD impressed upon me to make life happen each day, enjoy it and when He calls her home he will be there to help me through it. I did as told – by the Holy Spirit and never lost any sleep or grief over her eventual passing – and when the LORD took Regina home He was there. The comfort given by the LORD was awesome, sacred.

    Yes, enjoy life, make it happen every day. Things will change but do not hanker for what you do not have but make the best of what is. You will find your creativity growing, gaining new skills. This is coming from a 69 year old and I am still learning new skills! 🙂

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  3. “It would be much easier to view singleness as a gift if I knew for sure that I would eventually get married.” So true! I’m not falling over myself to get hitched and have a half-dozen children, but the thought of being old and alone doesn’t appeal, either. Although, getting married and having kids doesn’t guarantee anything.

    Right now I’m learning to appreciate being unemployed. I can’t say as I enjoy being a financial burden to my family, but not working gives me time to help around the house, volunteer with several great organizations, and be able to focus on my music education. That being said, it’s super easy for me to feel stuck in some psudo-adolescence phase, since pretty much everyone I know is moving on with life, going to college and/or working.
    There’s nothing for it but to just focus on doing well where I am. I may not be moving fast, but if I’m moving God can direct me.

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  4. You’re asking a really big life question, and when I figure it out, I’ll let you know. 🙂 You’ll most likely get married, but you already know there will be things in your life that go differently from how you would have planned them. I think the key to being able to be content in all circumstances has to do with faith in God — not faith that He will make certain things happen, but faith that He is molding you into His image. I’ll look forward to reading your book — whenever you get to write it.

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  5. Ah, this is/was good. Same stage, just replace college with a serving of full-time job. Being single is really fun- like staying up late and going out for coffee with friends whenever I feel like it or planning last-minute road trips. I say this hesitantly and with much awareness that I could sound like a bitter old maid, but I think sometimes marriage is overrated and single life lived well is underrated. But enough on that. Learning how to celebrate ordinary life as it happens, no matter your relationship status, is a good place to start. Even buzzfeed can’t teach a person that:)

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