Christmas Gag Gifts

Opening a present from mom, I came across this note:


Digging further, I found this shirt.


Uh huh. I can make this fit. Nooooooo problem. Ha ha.

I also got a present from somebody named “TDL.”

“Who’s TDL?” I asked.

“Just open it,” said Mom slyly.

So I did. It was an old box containing two lacy handkerchiefs stuck down with yellowing tape, and a faux rose.

“I don’t get it,” I said. “Who’s TDL?”

Mom said, “do you remember who gave me the beans?”

Flashback to a conversation I had with Mom a week and a half ago:

Mom: Eww

Me: What?

Mom: Oh, these beans that I got from that dead lady are dirty.

Apparently TDL meant “The Dead Lady,” and so the same dead lady who gave Mom the beans had given me old handkerchiefs for Christmas.

Thanks, dead lady.

2 responses to “Christmas Gag Gifts

  1. I can not WAIT to see what you will do with that Super-Size-Me shirt! I bet it will be amazing . . . I would think there is about enough fabric there to combine with an accent fabric and make yourself a really cool dress or something . . . please do blog about it when you do! LOL!


  2. I agree with Hope Anne…I’d love to see what you do with that shirt!
    I also wonder about the handkerchiefs… like are they useful or decorative. If they’re just decorative, you could use them decorate the shirt to make it a bit more girly


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