I’ve noticed, throughout my short life, that most people think they are weird.
Often, people will say things like, “I am obsessed with olives.” Then they’ll say, “I know, I’m weird.” But you can tell that they’re not putting themselves down, they think that this quirk makes them unique and interesting.
For a long time I put many random things about myself on my blog. Things like, “I love to clean out hairbrushes.” Every time I did I thought, “someone is going to read this and think I’m so unique and interesting.”
Well today I thought of something quirky that I do, and how it makes me feel cool. I thought, “I haven’t posted for a while. Why don’t I post a list of random things I do that make me feel cool, even if they aren’t really that cool at all?”
1. I Read
I guess reading isn’t quirky, but I like to take it up a notch and read while standing in line or stuck in traffic. Then it looks like, not only am I smart and well-read, but I ALSO manage time well. No one needs to know that I go home and waste time reading about celebrities on the internet.
2. I drink tea
Obviously, tea is the drink of the refined and the artsy. I used to go so far as to bring pretty teacups saucers and teapots into class with me which made me feel SO cool, but eventually I got lazy and started using mugs.
Random fact: I once decided to do a blog post on why tea is better then coffee, but I obviously never did.
3. I watch VHS tapes instead of DVD’s or movies downloaded from the internet.
I’m not sure why this makes me feel so cool. Maybe because of all the money I save. Maybe because I can quote old classics like “Singin’ in the Rain” and “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” while my friends can only quote “27 Dresses” and “The Hunger Games.” Maybe because I’ve boughten into the notion that retro is automatically cool.
Another random fact: I also once decided to do a post on why VHS tapes are better than DVD’s.
4. I drive slow.
Think of it this way. Most people have to wait until they’re elderly to discover how much more fun (and safe) it is to drive slower than faster. I got to join the club at a young age.
Or…maybe I had a driver’s ed teacher that told me I was a terrible driver and now, even five years later, I’m still paranoid.
But still, if there’s no one on the road and I don’t have to be anywhere fast, I slow down to 30 mph and roll down the windows and blast the radio and for some reason I feel like that is the epitome of cool.
Oh yeah, that reminds me…
5. I listen to the radio
I don’t like to spend money on music and I like the surprise of not knowing what will come on next and I like listening to people that talk on the radio and say random things like “men eat more potato chips than women do.”
I once read this book called How To Say Goodbye In Robot, and the two main characters were obsessed with listening to the radio. They were really cool, and so now that I listen to the radio I feel like I’m as cool as they are, only not quite, because the radio stations I listen to aren’t quite as cool as theirs were.
6. I am not glued to my cell phone.
If I’m in a group of people and they’re all getting on their phones, I start feeling holier-then-thou. Like, “I can have a meaningful conversation without being glued to some impersonal device.” But then when I get home and dig my phone out from under a pile of clothes and books I have no texts, though I’ll probably have a voicemail from someone saying “how come you never have your phone on you???”
7. I write letters to people longhand.
8. I dream every night and remember them if I try.
One year I wrote down 365 dreams. If I had two dreams in one night I couldn’t count them as separate dreams unless I woke up between them.
9. Sometimes I use the home phone to call my cell phone and then I put one phone up to each ear and I talk and my voice echoes back to me multiple times and for some reason I think that is so much fun.
10. I like fairy tales.
I mean, I really love fairy tales.
I have seven books of fairy tales, and eleven books that have some fairy tales and some folklore, and a book of Arabian folklore, and a book of African American folklore, which adds up to twenty books.
That is not counting the novels that are re-tellings of fairy tales.
Congratulations on #10! In my experience, the greatest writers are OBSESSED with fairy tales. (Of course, “greatest” here means “my favorite,” or basically, Chesterton, Tolkien, and C.S. Lewis.) So, you are practically destined for greatness.
Oh, and I’m cool because: I read an online weather report every single morning. *she says smugly while she flips up her umbrella and zips up her light jacket as a gentle rain begins to fall
Thanks Esther! I have a pet theory that people who love fairy tales have an easier time grasping Spiritual truths that don’t “make sense” according to Scientific laws than people who reject fairy tales as pagan. But I can’t think of a way to prove this. “Look at Chesterton, Tolkien, and C.S. Lewis!” will have to do.
The online weather report thing made me laugh. Good for you! *she says enviously as she huddles in her chair, shivering and wet
want to try the two phones deal!!
I love this blog. I tried number 9 the other day and laughed until I was blue. My family scoffed at my preposterous-and-rather-unstable hysterics with upturned noses, but I am 98% certain that they tried it as well as soon as I left the house 🙂