Well, who am I, then, really?

Feb 16, 2011

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There are two reasons I have started posting more pictures on my blog:

1. When I am in a hurry I glance down through my google reader blogroll and read the blogs with interesting pictures.

2. I get more views/comments/interest in my blog if I post pictures.

There are two reasons which the last two posts have mentioned some segment of pop culture or other. Well, the grammys, basically.

1. I am interested in what is going on in pop culture, yet in some circles I am embarrassed to admit this. Hmm. Why? Maybe because pop culture is “the world” and full of evil things.

Still.

I hate the way that in some circles I am embarrassed to admit that I think gay marriage is wrong and in other circles I am embarrassed to admit that I think it is worthwhile to know what is going on in pop culture. I want, on my blog, to be real. Just Emily.Not hiding anything. (except, of course, things that are none of your business.)

2. The other reason is a selfish reason. I just realized that there is no way to put ads on your wordpress blog. The only possible chance is to partner with wordpress and split the profits 50 50, but you can only do that if you have 25,000 views on your blog every month.

Yeah. I am not even close. So I got this fleeting idea that I would post about something current every day and promote myself and all because, hello? I just spent seventeen lousy bucks for my domain name and I want to pay it off.

Just sayin. It was a fail. I will probably never ever reach 25,000 views a month.

That being said, I ended up blacking out the whole Lady Gaga picture, so now it’s pretty much pointless except to point out that there is really no point in spending time looking at a Lady Gaga picture. Because honestly, I don’t want to have anything on this blog that any parents would not want their twelve year old to see.

If you ever have any concerns about anything you see on this blog, please tell me. My email is Jemilys@gmail.com and I take your suggestions seriously.

***

I wish I could hand pick people, and put them all in one spot, and live there. My few favorite people in Oregon, in Colorado, in Virginia, other places…sigh.

Oh wait, real unique Emily. I am sure that every single other person on the planet wishes this also. The problem is…what if you would pick them but they wouldn’t pick you?

And….yes. There will be heaven. Which is a great comfort, in moments like this. Well, really, in all moments.

Right now I have a huge struggle raging in my mind: Am I a good person or am I a bad person? It is of course the stupidest struggle because there is NO ONE in the UNIVERSE that I see as either being completely good and nice and never annoying, or bad and mean and a failure.

Some people come close, I guess. But still. Ever since my huge blowup in December that I didn’t write about it detail because it was none of your business, I have had a tremendous cognitive dissonance in my mind.

Is what I did really a big deal? If so, that makes me a complete failure. If it wasn’t a big deal, than I’m good. Still amazing interesting me. Yeah, you can see where this is going.

Who am I, really?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

All that laughter is because I’m thinking, really? Who am I? You’re stooping to ask that question about yourself?

Yep. I am. Deal with it.

Goodnight.

Comments

6 responses to “Well, who am I, then, really?”

simone

February 16, 2011

You are SO funny. i would read you even without pictures.

So. What if everyone picked all the same people but they had different places they wanted to settle?

You will always be interesting amazing unique you even if what you did WAS a big deal. The awesome thing about being on God’s side is that it matters less what you did, than what you will do. So, you look at it and decide if there is anything you need to do to “fix” what you did. If so, you do it. If not, goody! Then you look at you and decide if you like who you are. If so, Yipee! If not, then go about getting to be who you want to be and, Voila! It’s a win-win situation.

Wow, must be the snow on the mountains. Makes everything look possible. Gotta go, the cat is trying to steal the milk out of my granola bowl.

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Parlevue

February 16, 2011

Well I don’t think it’s particularly kind that you look down on gays because they are capable, loving human beings who want the opportunity to marry. Who made you judgemental?

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1. Emily Smucker
  
  February 16, 2011
  
  I would never dream of looking down on gays as people. I get my views on God’s intention of what marriage should be from the Bible. I am sorry if I came across as judgemental!
  
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Beth

February 16, 2011

Hey, my hits will help you make it to that big lofty goal! I love to read blogs and found you from your mom and am fascinated by the fact that you are an author. Having grown up conservative menno (I’m now city menno on the east coast) I find your comments on pop culture to be very interesting. It’s very fun because I know where you are coming from! Thanks for posting.

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ITF

February 16, 2011

There is always someone who isn’t going to like something that you post on your blog, trust me on that one. Even me! I didn’t like that picture with the kids playing with the guillotine/paper cutter! Safety First! Safety is not a joke! We have an honest-to-goodness real hydraulic heavy-duty paper cutter in our pressroom, but the closest we come to jokes about it are in offering fingernail trimmings.

So you have to draw your own lines, listen to your critics and re-evaluate and maybe re-draw them, but in the end they’re your lines.

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PJ

February 18, 2011

I enjoy your writing and I’m pleased that you have dramatically increased your postings. The pictures are a welcome addition. I laugh when you say that you may look terribly sad in every photo you post, but you are really a happy person. I don’t know if you will ever be able to do ads, but I think that writing more often may help you develop your writing skills. So, GO EMILY!

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