Once Upon A Time…

Once upon a time there was a blue ceramic cat who sat on a table in the living room doing nothing.

Across the room lived a very tall wooden giraffe. The wooden giraffe got all the attention. He was just way cooler than the ceramic cat.

First of all, he was hand carved in the exotic land of Africa, while the cat was poured into a mold in a dinky factory and subsequently resided in a number of second hand stores and old ladies’ attics before she finally ended up on the table in the Smucker’s living room. Secondly, the Giraffe was painted to look like a real giraffe, instead of being, well, painted blue. And third, the giraffe had a broken ear which people were always trying to glue back on.

Every day the cat watched the giraffe as the Smuckers fussed over his ear. Oh, and did I mention that the giraffe was in the window? It was like a display case for that magnificent creature. The blue cat was jealous. So what do you think she did?

Well, there was a very old book of poetry next to the cat. The blue cat decided that maybe, if she would read the giraffe some poetry, he would fall in love with her. That would raise her status in the world. And so, she opened the book with her little ceramic paws, and began.

“Turn, gental hermet of the dale
And guide my lonely way
To where yon taper cheers the vale
With hospitable ray.”

“Huh?” said the giraffe with the broken ear.

So that cat read louder:

“For here forlorn and lost I tread…”


The cat decided that maybe the giraffe just didn’t understand what the poem was about. She sure didn’t. So she scanned the poem until she found a verse that talked about love.

“No never from this hour to part,
We’ll live and love so true
The sigh that rends thy constant heart
Shall break thy Edwin’s too.”

“Huh?” said the giraffe again, because he really could not hear out of his broken ear. The truth was, however, that he liked poetry, so he edged closer and closer to the edge of the windowsill, trying to hear, until he fell off.

“Oh Edwin! Dear Edwin, are you all right?” cried the blue ceramic cat, as she watched him fall, and heard something distinctly breaking. (She had concluded that the giraffe’s name was Edwin, because the last line of the poem had mentioned something about Edwin breaking.)

There was no answer.”

“Are you broken?”

The giraffe didn’t hear her. His other ear was broken off.

Suddenly it occurred to the blue ceramic cat that since the giraffe had fallen, he had obviously fallen for her. So she was happy that she had gone up in the world.

The end.

Moral: Beware, least your quest for greatness shall cause someone else great loss of hearing.

(Yes, that is what happens when I make up stories about random objects around me.)

One response to “Once Upon A Time…

  1. I really love this.
    Can you make a book of stories about random objects around you?


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