The Girl in the Red Rubber Boots

Romance

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by

Emily Sara Smucker
in

I discovered the other day why I hate romance novels. It’s not that I have anything against romance itself. I mean, hello, I’m a girl, I have to like romance, right? But I detest romance novels. Nothing against you if you like Karen Kingsbury, but it’s not for me.

But see, I couldn’t put my finger on why exactly I hated them until yesterday. Now I know. Romance novels are full of the most intense weird uncomfortable feelings. You know, like “Just then the door flew open and Josh’s large athletic frame filled the doorway and his eyes bored into her soul with a strange combination of wrath and doubting.”

Like, once I picked up this Karen Kingsbury book, thinking I should, you know, at least give her a chance. So first there was this emotion filled scene where this lady loved her husband but he left and she was filled with emotion and her son felt so abandoned by his father and there was about three pages describing exactly how that made him feel and then he had so much pain that he decided to become a bull rider. I am dead serious. A bull rider.

Then the girl’s story started. What was her deal? I think she was a barrel racer and every time she raced she risked her life cause she had really bad asthma or something. Somehow this story was filled with feelings too and I couldn’t imagine what sort of feelings would come once they actually met each other and fell in love so I ceased reading.

However, to be fair, there are a few romance novels that I like.

  1. The Mark of the Lion Trilogy by Francine Rivers
  2. The Blue Castle by L. M. Montgomery
  3. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin

Well in other news, my family is spending New Years on the other side of the mountains, and thus I feel considerably better, at least for a short time.

Ben thinks that I’ll be married to a guy named Homer Miller in 2020.

I just read a very interesting book called “The Book Thief.” Now I have moved on to “The Magician’s Elephant.” Neither of them are romance novels. One wonderful thing about being at home is the piles of great books around.

The rose bowl is starting and I keep thinking about the Ohio State fans in Colorado who made fun of the Ducks. Now that I think about it, a duck may be a silly mascot, but it’s not as silly as a nut now is it?

Comments

7 responses to “Romance”

  1. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    i completely agree with you on the whole romance novel thing… i just cant get into them… but i love love love reading! but i will recommend an author for you. her name is sarah dessen. she has about nine books about teenagers and their lives… they’re amazing!

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  2. Esta Avatar
    Esta

    Ah,Emily, another girl who shares my sentiments! Hurray! I think for me it’s not the thing of “uncomfortable” emotion, but rather the fact that the emotion is so…I don’t know…hollow. Emotion that is put there simply to somehow try and fill YOU with emotion. I always feel like a puppet or something. It’s a cheap replication of real life. In reality, when you actually experience the emotion, it’s totally different than simply reading it. You don’t have to risk anything in a romance novel, you don’t have to bleed, and there is no need to make decisions as they are all made ahead of time. A well written love story simply tells the story and lets you put the emotion in it. It is then you can capture it –own it. Otherwise it will either capture you with its deadening safety or bore you to death. We need more good, passionate emotion in real life, not hollow fantasies that require no effort, no risk, and take place without us every stepping out of our comfort zone.
    — oh, and if you marry a guy named homer make sure he can cart you off to italy.

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  3. Mom Avatar
    Mom

    Hey, you plagiarizer you. [The Josh sentence]

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  4. Virginia Avatar
    Virginia

    You have good taste in books. (good taste=same as mine!) 🙂

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  5. Rae Avatar
    Rae

    Okay, so.. just for fun… i looked it up. There are precisely 15 Homer Millers on facebook. The really weird thing is, one of them lives right in my area. So… you should come visit me. 😉

    P.S. –you have ten years. insert parkinson’s theory here.

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  6. Kayla Kuepfer Avatar
    Kayla Kuepfer

    Hey Emily! You like the novels I like!!

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  7. Jess Heatwole Avatar
    Jess Heatwole

    Ha Ha Emily your so funny!! I miss you! This is really really funny. I absolutely HATE to read. But A Thousand Tomorrows was one of the books that I have read that I absolutely loved. I’m absolutely NOT a cryer. It takes LOTS to make me cry. I almost can’t cry. But that book moved me to tears. I bauled like a baby!! I cried so hard. I finished that book at probably 2 in the morning went to sleep crying. When I woke up the next morning, my pillow was wet from crying!!! 🙂 lol I did really really like that book but it might be because I love horses, cowboy stuff, etc. Anyway.

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