I wake up, confused. The light is on. But was I sleeping? Of course I was sleeping, but how can you know if there are no dreams? Or maybe those strange thoughts were dreams, because, now that I think of it, they didn’t make any sense.
Everything is hot.
My head hurts and I wish I could understand life. I wish I could take a shower but I am too weak and too hot. I always fall asleep and every once in a while I will have a nice deep dream. But mostly it is bits and pieces and I get confused and maybe there is no dream after a while and then I wonder if I slept or maybe if I just zoned out in some bizarre manner for a while because I can’t remember.
It was bad before but it’s badder now. I don’t understand allergies and sickness and feeling better or worse. I wish there were numbers and graphs that spelled it out and made sense.
I feel like nothing I am writing makes sense but that is ok because I am in a general state of loopiness and somehow my God will work my future out.
I don’t exactly want to sleep anymore though cause I’ve been sleeping all day and the dreamless sleep is so confusing. But it is night-time. And I’m certain I will sleep anyway whether I want to or not.