The Speech

Today in speech class it was the day to give persuasive speeches. Chris’ turn came. He got up front and said, “…um…”

I burst out laughing because “um” was about the lamest introduction possible. I know that sounds really mean. So I stopped laughing.

“Um,” Chris continued, “the, uh, procrastination, um, um, um, is…bad.”

He stumbled around in this manner, and no one quite knew what to think. Then suddenly he straightened up, made some comment about how “this is what happens when you procrastinate,” and everyone burst out laughing.

Chris tried to continue, but everyone was laughing and he was laughing and things were getting nowhere. Then all of the sudden there was a stick in his hands. Huh?!? Where had that come from?

Oh. He pulled it off the front of the podium. We just about died laughing.

It was terrible. Brian, the teacher, was laughing just as hard or harder than the rest of us.

Chris paced back and forth. He coughed. “Procrastination is bad,” he said, and gave some reasons for it. Someone tittered. We all laughed. Chris laughed. Brian laughed.

Somehow the speech ended. The point of the speech was, “don’t procrastinate.” Because apparently Chris had chosen his speech topic the night before.