Tag Archives: interview

The Famous Nobodies: Esta Miller

Hello folks. Today we have the last installment of The Famous Nobodies. I have no idea why it took me so long to post this. Maybe because I was too busy watching youtube videos about bacon.

Past episodes of The Famous Nobodies:

Sir Shawn Barry Graber IV, Junior, Esquire

Verlyn Clark Glenn

Today we are interviewing the one, the only, Esta Miller! Lets begin.

Emily Smucker: What is your full name?

Esta Faye Miller: Esta Faye Miller. I love my name.

ES: How many years have you roamed the earth?

EFM: 22, or 23 if you count when Mom roamed the earth with me inside her.

ES: What was a recent awkward moment you found yourself in?

EFM: Oh my. So many. But all to scandalous for the public readership. Remember, I work at a public health clinic. *The rest of this paragraph has been removed due to its mature content*

ES: Who do you Facebook stalk and secretly wish you could meet?

EFM: Hm, I don’t spend much time stalking people on Facebook.

Fur real? What is happening to the youth of America? I have asked this question in all three interviews and have not gotten one scandalous answer. Perhaps I should write a blog post about all the people I Facebook stalk and secretly wish I could meet.

Just a random picture to remind you all of why you should be stalking Esta on Facebook.

ES: What was the most interesting dream you ever had?

EFM: Oh my. There was the one I had when I was 8 in which I dreamed I burned the house down with a tea bag. Or the one when I got drunk in Ireland and did bad things and my friend Deron had to come over from the States and rescue my reputation, wearing his straw cowboy hat. Or the one where I kissed my (then) ex-boyfriend and he got so furious because we were supposed to be respectable Mennonites and follow “I kissed Dating Goodbye.”

Esta and her (then) ex-boyfriend who she kissed in the dream. Her (then) ex-boyfriend is now her (now) (again) boyfriend. Just a random tip for interviewers– the times are constantly changing. Be sure to post interviews as soon as you get them, instead of watching bacon videos, because celebrities are always breaking up and getting back together.

ES: Do you own a purple shirt with Justin Bieber’s face on it?

EFM: I do. It is glittery and very tight and has Justin B’s face surrounded by a heart.

I see where this is going…

ES: If I gave you an elephant where would you hide it?

EFM: I wouldn’t. I would take it back to Africa and let it go free, cause people would make a documentary about me and maybe give me the nobel peace prize.

ES: All those fraud cases against your brother, are they true?

EFM: Probably. Right now he is hiking through Mexico to Belize, so they must be. But the one about him lip locking with Janessa Tice in the EBI library is totally false. ( You are welcome, Jon)

ES: Do you have any good fashion/style tips for my readers?

EFM: If you find something you like, but can’t wear for conscience sake, and it is under $5, buy it for your honeymoon (my mom taught me that one). Also, burn anything trendy in your closet.

ES: What was your lucky break?

EFM: Honestly? That Jesus didn’t let me get away with pretending I didn’t have any problems. I’m so much happier now that I admit I have lots.

Also, that my profs never caught on how little I really knew.

ES: What keeps you awake at night?

EFM: Emergency medical calls.  Parties.  Guarding at the jail. Eating too much mac and cheese. Worries about being a bad kisser.

A picture of Esta eating. Just because. Is that bacon in the sandwich?

ES: What was a long-ago awkward moment you found yourself in?

EFM: When my slip fell off in a crowded subway station and got caught up in my trendy heels and I stood for some time trying to untangle it while a bunch of people laughed at me.

ES: What kind of people do you dislike?

EFM: People who think they have all the answers. People who are prejudice and ignorant. People who chase trends and popularity and totally miss life. People who like Nickelback.

ES: If you had to have on inanimate object attached to your hand for a month, what would it be?

EFM: My tea mug. For sure.

Looks like you have that object attached to both hands, my dear.

ES: Give a good closing-worthy piece of advice.

EFM: Don’t run away from brokenness–whether it in others, yourself, or the world. You will miss lots of stories, joy, and awkward moments.

And eat lots of garlic while you are single.

That concludes my interview with Esta Miller, and my three-part series called “The Famous Nobodies.” Coming soon:

People I Facebook Stalk and Secretly Wish I could Meet (Maybe)

Guest Post: Life in Thailand (By my crazy-awesome sister Jenny)

The Famous Nobodies: Verlyn Glenn

I have decided to start interviewing famous people. Except I sort of don’t know any famous people, so I asked some of my friends to pretend to be famous.

Apparently some people like to pretend to be famous.

Apparently some people should be famous, if their interviews are any indication. On that note, let’s begin with a young man by the name of Verlyn.

Emily Smucker: What is your full name?

Verlyn Clark Glenn: Verlyn Clark Glenn.

I only asked this pointless question because I was dying to know his middle name. Tee hee hee.

ES: What is your age?

VCG: Twenty-four.

That is a lie, for the record. I looked him up on Facebook, and he is actually twenty-five. Of course I did this interview several days ago and today is his birthday….

ES: What is your official job title?

VCG: White House Chief of Staff.

I thought that was a lie too, until I found this picture in the tabloids.

Yep, that looks pretty Chief of Staff-ish to me. The woman is, I believe, some foreign diplomat.

ES: What is the dumbest thing you have ever done?

VCG: Tried to fly by jumping out of our cherry tree with T-shirts tied to my arms.

ES: What is the randomest use for a coconut you can think of?

VCG: A ship for a one-eyed gerbil pirate.

ES: If you only had one hour, twenty-three minutes, and fourty-seven seconds to live, how would you spend that time?

VCG: I would spend one hour with the love of my life, twenty-three minutes and twenty seconds motorcycling and getting on a plane to take me up to 50,000 feet, and the last seventeen seconds free-falling (flying without wings).

ES: Describe the worst first date you can imagine.

VCG: If I found out the next day she was a guy.

ESS: What was the awkwardest moment you ever found yourself in?

VCG: I was in a very remote village in Mexico. The people who we were staying with didn’t have very much, but they made us a big meal of some kind of cooked squash and beans. I couldn’t eat it, so I tried to just throw it outside when no one was looking, but all of the village dogs instantly started a big fight over it. The lady of the house came running over to break it up and saw what I had done. Very not cool.

ES: Who is someone that you Facebook stalk and wish you could meet?

VCG: Evangeline Lily.

No offense, but really??? All the information on her Facebook page is copied from Wikipedia. And she only has one picture. Which is above. Even you have more interesting pictures than she does.

…like this

ES: What is your least favorite fruit? Why?

VCG: You know it would probably have to be a banana.There’s just too much slimy potassium.

ESS: If you had to vacation in either A. Villa Grove, Illinois B. Conrad, Montana, or C. Daingerfield, Texas, which would you choose and why?

VCG: Conrad, Montana without question. I love swimming and I hear they have an awesome swimming pool.

Good choice. According to their website, “Major community activities include Whoop-Up Trail Days, in May, which features two days of rodeo and parade activities as well as a free pancake breakfast, fun run/walk, co-ed softball, and the Country Showdown.” Gotta love that co-ed softball. Winkey-face.

ES: What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done?

VCG: I was on a survival hike in the jungles of Thailand and developed a nose bleed that wouldn’t stop. Definitely one of the most dangerous things I’ve had happen to me.

Verlyn: Which way to the survival hike? Man: That way. Don’t forget to bring extra Kleenexes.

ES: What is the weirdest food that you love?

VCG: Beef tongue

ES: And now, most importantly, who got you started in the career that made you famous?

VCG: My mother, because my awesomeness started at birth.

I tried to find a picture of his mom, but all I could find were pictures of the foreign diplomat in the first picture. How odd.

ES: Thank you for taking the time to do this interview. I’m sure my readers will appreciate it.

VCG: Thanks for the wonderful opportunity to talk about myself.

That’s all for now, folks! Stay tuned for more episodes of The Famous Nobodies, coming soon to a blog near you.