It’s Inauguration Day!

The 8’th President of Bridgewater College is about to, you know, get inaugurated. We students have to go to 7 convocations a semester and the inauguration counts as a convo. It sounded interesting. I need more convo credits. Count me in!

All week long these huge trucks were all over the place unloading huge white tents (think roof of the Denver Airport) fancy little trees, and thousands of folding chairs. Seriously, is there a folding chair warehouse somewhere with millions of folding chairs available for rent?

An email was sent out saying that to get convo credit, you had to swipe your ID card between 9:30 and 10:15. So I got to the college with a few minutes to spare, only to find that there were absolutely no parking spaces.

None.

I thought it was going to be a cold day, with the whole ceremony outside and all, you know. I wore a sweater, a scarf, a long coat, and boots. I swooped my hair all cool-like over my forehead in a manner that always makes me much warmer; thus, I don’t wear it like that much.

Needless to say, by the time I had parked on the farthest outskirts of campus and ran to the opposite end to swipe my card, I was no longer cold. I had shed my coat and scarf, yet was very, very warm.

I made it, though.

Everyone is sitting under the huge Denver-airport tent. I’m blogging as the ceremony is happening. Is that rude? I hope not, but I will admit that right now the ceremony is very boring.

The opening ceremony was this long parade of people holding flags, and then all kinds of people wearing fancy caps and gowns. I’m not sure who they were, but they were important, because we stood for them.

Next some guy got up and prayed. This is, after all, a college with “Christian Values.” It sounded to me more like a speech than a prayer. It was very eloquent with phrases like “this college, nestled between the rivers…”

Now, speeches. Boring ones, mostly. Only the one talking now is making jokes like, “Only a minister gets fed more than a college president in this neck of the woods.”

There is a guy interpreting everything that is being said into sign language. It looks sort of funny to have this guy in a suit and tie gesturing wildly in such a formal setting.

In the book Ella Enchanted, there is this High Chancellor Thomas who gives all these boring speeches, and that is what I keep thinking of throughout all these speeches. Oh! The last guy gave a really short speech. Super!

Everyone sounds like they have written their speeches out word for word. “We endeavorer to foster beneficial relations between the college and it’s alumni.” Stuff like that.

I just looked in my bullion and I recognize the name of the lady talking now. She sends out a lot of emails with general BC news. I guess that makes sense, since she is speaking to represent the faculty.

President Cornelius must feel very…wellcome.

Now the student body president is speaking. I don’t recognize her. I wonder if I should recognize the student body president?

Random fact: Most of the previous presidents of BC have buildings named after them. But as far as I remember, there is no Baugher building or Wright building. I wonder why Baugher and Wright didn’t get buildings named after them?

Poor guys.

It says in the bulletin that Write was an acting president. Uh, what exactly does that mean?

Now the choir is singing. Do I recognize any of them? Let’s see…the beard-but-no-mustache computer geek I met at the newspaper meeting, the big black guy who was always a very energetic orientation leader, hmm. No one I really know.

As far as I can tell, we have one more boring ceremony thing, and then the actual inauguration, and then we all stand and sing the Official Bridgewater College Song.

“So I tell you, Georgey  Cornelius..”

What???

Oh, George E., not Georgey.

Now he  gets a presidential medallion. Ok…

Alexander Mack apparently founded the church of the Brethren. That explains why our Library is named after him.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I now present to you the 8’th president of Bridgewater College, George E. Cornelius.

Okay, so now President Cornelius is giving a boring speech. The sign language guy is gesturing wildly.

“Both death and life are fond of valleys.” More flowery speech.

My fingers are itching to type even though I am running out of things to say. I am convinced that this is going to be a very very long post. However, perhaps it will give you a feel for the very very long inauguration ceremony.

I am still glad I came though, because despite the boring speeches everything is so formal and fancy and awesome.

I am finally cooling off from my mad dash across campus. I think I’ll put my coat back on.

Tuition was $3 a month when Bridgewater was founded!! Are you serious??? I am so jealous of those ancient folks.

The last president was president for 16 years. Will we stand and sing the college song now?

Blast. More talking. Now, that is the kind of thing we learned to NOT do  in public speaking class, Mr. Georgey Cornelius. It’s called a false ending. You act like you’re ending your speech, but you’re actually not.

(No disrespect to the President or the speeches intended. I am merely very hungry.)

Now he is talking about the amazing Christian Values of the college. I bet my PDP professor is laughing to himself.

This is my PDP Professor’s view:

What exactly are Christian values? Well, true Christian values are the things laid out in the Sermon on the Mount. Does Bridgewater College follow the Sermon on the Mount?

Well…not really.

This is a really long speech. Now he’s talking about how Bridgewater College accepts anyone, no matter their religion, because the person we follow, Jesus Christ, accepted everyone.

“For the students, Amen.” Thus ends the very long speech. Now do we get to sing the song?

Ok this post goes on forever but the song ends the ceremony so goodbye!