I don’t care who I am

A short story:

Today was a hard day. I was sickish. I accidentally slept to late and missed an important class. I didn’t finish a homework assignment that I needed to get done. In fact, I was pretty close to giving up on my day altogether. But I kept muttering a three step process to myself:

1. Calm down
2. Don’t sleep
3. Focus

Apparently it worked, because I calmed down and didn’t sleep and focused enough to get myself out the door in time for my next class. But I sat in the car, and the rain beat down, and my head hurt.

The voice in my head said, “You know, you don’t have to go to class and admit that you didn’t get your assignment done. You could just stay here, in the car.”

“But I’m not a quitter,” I said to the voice.

The voice laughed at me. “Yes you are,” it said.

And the horrible thing is, it’s true. I am a quitter. Who went back to sleep instead of finishing her homework this morning? Who failed to clean up her kitchen? Who missed an important class?

It is true. I am a quitter.

“I don’t care who I am,” I said to the voice. “I only care who I’m gonna be.” And with that I got out of the car and went to class.

It was a victory.