Dating and Pink and Opinions

The kid in the green shirt got roped into curtain duty. So now he’ll be backstage all the time. Except when he’s on stage. Sweet.

Apparently my landlord is going to show my house to someone tomorrow. Which means I’ll have to get up early and clean. Fun fun. It also means that my landlord wants to sell my house. Even funner.

Why is it that I can never exactly remember what the positive reviews of my book have to say, but I can remember specifically every detail of criticism I’ve ever heard about my book? And even worse, I agree with them. Like, this one girl said that I kept repeating myself, especially when I talked about how I felt while I was sick. I actually laughed when I read that one, because I often think the same thing about my book. Honestly I didn’t have that much diversity in my feelings.

I just recently read two books on purity. The first was Passion and Purity, which I had to read for school. Then just the other day I got a package in the mail, and it turns out that Lorenda had sent me a book called Before you meet Prince Charming. I finished it in record time, and while those two books could spawn a whole boatload of deep thinking blog posts, I’ll focus on one subject I found amusing: dating.

Most of the time Elizabeth Elliot and Sarah Mally had very compatible views. Wait for the right guy, remain pure, etc. But when it came to the subject of dating, Sarah really had something to say on the matter, with long lists of why the world’s system of dating is wrong, how it’s much easier to get to know someone in a setting other than a date, etc. She was a little vague about what the alternative was, but she did mention courtship a few times, and it was obvious that she was one of these “courtship not dating” people. But from what I can gather, courtship, the system of dating I’m familiar with, going steady, etc, is all pretty much the same thing. Having a relationship with once specific guy, pretty much with marriage in mind, instead of going on casual dates for fun.

But in Passion and Purity, Elizabeth Elliot acted like this system of single one-time dates was the norm. Then, in one chapter, she goes off on a rant about “going steady.” She didn’t think it was fair for a guy and a girl to try to claim the other exclusively for themselves without committing themselves to getting married. It was a form of impatience, she said.

I find this kind of funny. But I think it goes to show that you can’t pin down one dating system and say, “this is the way it should always be.” Elizabeth’s own story of her and Jim’s relationship is proof of that in and of itself, I think. And both books brought up the subject of arranged marriages, and how in the days of arranged marriages the marriages lasted, and today they don’t. Why?

I started thinking of arranged marriages then. I thought, “If you had to either go out and pick a guy to marry, just pick him out without dating or anything, or let your parents do it, which would you choose?” And as much as I dislike the idea of arranged marriages, I really would have to let my parents do the picking. Which sort of put the whole thing in a new light.

Savannah made me a purse today. It’s pink.

I used to not like pink. It was too girly. Then once I asked my mom what her favorite color was and she said, “pink.” So then I thought perhaps it wasn’t too stupid to like pink and I’ve liked pink ever since.

But I used to feel sick looking at pale pink things. It was so weird. I remember talking about it with my cousin Hillary, and she said that pink made her feel sick too. But for her both bright pink and pale pink made her feel sick, while for me it was just pale pink.

This was at Jenny’s baby shower, so we’d have both been eight almost nine. Jenny had a lot of presents that came in big pink bags.

Now the end of this random post is near, and I am ready to hear you OPINIONS on one of the following three subjects:

Dating: What are your thoughts on the matter?

Arranged marriages: If you had to go pick out a guy to marry (without dating!) or let your parents do it, which would you choose?

Pink: have you ever felt sick looking at this color?

Come on folks! I’d love to hear what you think!

7 responses to “Dating and Pink and Opinions

  1. In general I prefer pastel colors for walls and bright colors for clothes. I love all shades of pink and purple. I don’t remember ever being sickened by pink, but I do think I like it more now than I did when I was in my teens and 20s.

    Arranged marriage-I’m such a control freak that I don’t think I could have let someone else choose.

    As to arranged marriages lasting longer, I suspect it’s because they have a different expectation of marriage, not that their quality of marriage is better.


  2. Personally, I think the whole dating-courtship debate is really pointless. Using a different word to discribe the pocess doesn’t change anything. I think what really matter is WHY you’re dating (or courting, take your pick)- are you doing it for the fun of it, or are you doing it with the intent of finding a marriage partner?

    Honestly, I think I’d rather pick my marriage partner, even I couldn’t date… Not to say that I think my parents wouldn’t do a good job, but being the control freak that I am, the idea of leaving that up to them is terrifying.

    Pink has never made me feel sick, but I’m not very fond of it.. I’m okay with bright shades of pink, but anything pale or pastel annoys me.


  3. Pink is my favorite color.

    As for marriages lasting, I think it’s because in the cultures of arranged marriages divorce is usually unacceptable.

    I just read a devotional from ICR that mentions how “fun” isn’t in the Bible and Christians are to have joy not seek entertainment. Re dating, casual dates and breakups lead to hurt and can lead to a mindset of breaking up is the answer when things don’t go well–this affects all relationships and especially marriage. Also, single dating (even during courting) can lead to sexual temptations that are hard to resist. Best to do things in groups or with family. Purity is defiinitely the best way to go–spiritually, emotionally, physically.

    Pray about your future marriage partner and for God’s will. Let Him guide.


  4. Who would you like us to pick out for you?


  5. I think I would have liked my parents to do it. Mostly because I trust them. I gotta say though the idea of marrying a guy without any kind of courtship or dating process seems scary.


  6. Interesting post and comments. Hmm… I wonder if anyone minds if a guy stops in on this post to leave a comment? 🙂

    Ever since I was junior high-ish age, I’ve been intrigued with male-female relationships, both with what I observed around me, and in trying to seek out what God’s ideal is for these. No easy answers on this subject, but here’s a couple things I’ve come to believe:

    1. Among the evangelical Christians that I have interacted with over the years, I have often noticed a predominant culture or way of thinking that seems to have an unhealthy preoccupation with or emphasis on the romantic aspect of male-female relationships.

    2. Partly because of the above, but maybe also for other reasons, it seems that these same people/churches/communities miss out on the blessings of strong, healthy, meaningful, but non-romantic cross-gender relationships.

    I am aware that there are many people for whom the above two points will raise all kinds of red flags, but I will leave it at that, a simple statement of my belief/opinion. 🙂

    As far as dating/courting/whatever-the-next-favorite-word happens to be, I’m a firm believer that one should not move into a special/romantic relationship with someone unless both people are seriously considering marriage to the other person. In regards to the phenomenon of ‘casual dating’ in which people date ‘to get to know each other’ I have a feeling that could be avoided by addressing points #1 and #2 above.

    Arranged marriages? Hmm… with the choices you posed I think I would definitely have to go with letting my parents choose, although that’s probably because I know and trust them, which might not be case with everyone.

    Pink? Can’t say it makes me sick, unless it’s when I associate it with the color of that awful liquid penicillin I had to take every day for about a week. 🙂

    Okay, long enough, even though that first topic could probably go on forever… 🙂


  7. @ Dustin-
    I agree with point 1, and I strongly agree with point 2!!


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