Tag Archives: 2012

2012 Recap Type Post

I am DETERMINED to post about the new year because for the the entire last half of 2012 I kept thinking, “this year is so weird. I can’t wait to post about it on New Year’s eve.”

Now that it’s December 31 for real all I want to do is go to bed at 7:33 and forget about this “see the new year in” rot. But I won’t. I’ll prop my eyes open with toothpicks and write.

SO many things happened in 2012. I will make a list.

  1. My entire youth group fell in love. Well, more accurately, about 9/10’s of my youth group fell in love, depending on your definitions of “youth group” and “in love.”
  2. Several people died seemingly before their time. Most notably Jana Mong, Jeff Kropf, and Rachael Witmer. I didn’t really know any of the three, but I have friends who were very close to them.
  3. My church had a hard year, and I had to watch my parents (pastor and pastor’s wife) struggle through things I feel they shouldn’t have had to struggle through.
  4. A lot of people in my family, five of my cousins and one of my aunts,  had  new babies. Most notably, my cousin Annette, who has tried to have a baby for years, was able to adopt as sweet little boy named Justice. That’s what I call sweet Justice. (Har har)

Now, the weird thing is, everything happened to  my friends, nothing happened to me. I didn’t fall in love or have a loved one die or struggle through church issues or have a baby. But I still felt emotion for all these things, because they happened to people I loved.

I call it “secondhand emotion.” I call 2012 the “Year of Secondhand Emotion.”

As for what happened to ME PERSONALLY, I will only say that I met some very interesting people with unique quirks who will most definitely end up in a novel someday.

If you’re scared, you should have treated me better.

(That’s a classic writer joke, in case you didn’t catch on. But it’s a widdle bit true-ish.)

Now, a few Facebook pictures to finish it off.

Oops, this computer won’t let me post pictures. NEVER FEAR, I will tell you what you can do instead. Go to facebook.com, and search for “Emily Sara Smucker.” I promise every picture I was going to post is right there.

Of course those photos were primarely posted by other people, and missing the witty commentary I would provide if they were on my blog. Therefore, if you come upon a picture that you want more info about, you can email me at Jemilys@gmail.com, saying “What’s with the picture of you and some other girl sitting on what looks like a rooftop?” I will reply and say, “one day this summer, me and my friend Anna had a sleepover, and in the morning we sat on the roof to eat our breakfast.”

See? Problem solved, and it was way easier than going to the bother of posting pictures. Just watch me eat my words when 77 people decide to email me asking about the same pictures. But that’s okay, because I use copy and paste and also I like emails. The only people who email me these days are pinterest and spotify, and I don’t even use pinterest and spotify.

Also, Netflix emails me saying “Emily!! Come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!” And then I reply and say “I’m so sorry, but our relationship just won’t work! It’s not you, it’s me!” Then I feel like I’m part of a star-crossed romance instead of just a bystander while 9/10’s of my youth group falls in love.

(Again, har har)

Okay well, goodnight, see you next year.

So what did you do for the end of the world?

end-of-the-world1

Initially I dreaded December 21, 2012, because I knew how crazy facebook was going to be, with everyone saying “well I’m not dead yet!” and feeling clever.

Later I realized that I’ve only ever met one person who legitimately thought the world would end in 2012. Since no one is really scared, I concluded that “World Ending Day” would make a great holiday. What if, once a year, people actually lived like it was their last day on earth? What would you do differently?

In reality, I would probably spend time with my family, but half my family is on the east coast and the other half was at school today and my mom was terribly sick and could hardly talk.

In theory, I would do something beautiful like drive to the ocean by myself and leap through the frigid December waves. I didn’t do that either. I spent the morning watching “The Princess Bride” in my PJ’s.

I thought that at least I could cook a big feast for my family. I’m not much of a cook, but we had a big ham left over from “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever,” and I thought if I cooked it up tonight we could live on ham sandwiches for the rest of the week and Mom wouldn’t have to cook.

She is, as I mentioned before, quite sick.

Mom also gave me a list of errands that she would really appreciate if I did, and then she coughed and hacked and of course there was no way I could possibly refuse to do those errands for her. I probably would have done them even if it was legitimately the last day of earth’s existence and we would have no use for worcestershire sauce and ramen noodles ever again.

Now, maybe this whole Mayan thing fooled more people than I realized, because traffic in town was a nightmare. I missed turns and only had 25 cents for the parking meter and nearly hit a yellow car and started to go across an intersection even though there was a person crossing and in general had a very bad time of it.

I needed to get home and make supper. I had left for town later than I should have, due to general laziness and the charms of The Princess Bride, and traffic, as I said, was terrible. I was afraid I wouldn’t have time to cook.

After a few wrong turns, I found myself on some random road, and I wasn’t sure if I was going north or south or east or west. I was so tired and frustrated I burst into tears.

Tears are a bad idea while driving. They make it harder to see where you’re going. However, I eventually found my way to the interstate, and of course from there I knew I could find my way home.

As my tears dried, I had a sudden thought.

IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

I laughed out loud.

Five Stories of a Boring Life

The Stick in the Road

I must get healthy. Therefore, I must exercise. But the hot hot summer weather keeps me from brisk midday walks.

The solution, of course, is to walk in the evenings. That is what I did today. Only I didn’t get started until it was nearly dark. Oh well, what’s a little walk in the dark?

“Hmm, that’s a funny stick,” I said as I passed a long squiggly object lying in the middle of the road.

Then I realized it was a snake. Suddenly I was weak in the ankles and I power walked all the way home, jumping at every shadow and freaking out every time a shoelace touched my ankle.

I am never walking at night again.

The Diaries

I collect other people’s diaries. I find them at garage sales every so often. The people who write in these diaries have the most boring lives you could imagine. But I still like to read them.

Jenny told me that she can’t imagine reading someone else’s diary. It would feel so invasive. But I said that I hate the idea of a record of someone’s life getting thrown out, unappreciated, forgotten.

Then Mom told me that her dad, my grandpa, used to dumpster dive behind a bakery. Grandpa has always been an avid dumpster diver. This bakery would give him spoiled food for his pigs, but he would still go through their dumpster looking for more.

Sometimes the family that owned the bakery would throw their family garbage into the store dumpster. Grandpa would find diaries written by the bakery owner’s wife, and take them home for Grandma to read.

Grandma never would let Mom read them, or tell her what was written in them. She would only say, “ooh, I can’t believe she would write some of the stuff she does! It’s not even appropriate to tell your husband!”

I told mom that this has to go in her Mennonite novel.

Jumpy Cats

Have you ever sneaked up behind someone, and then grabbed them, causing them to “jump?”

This is not an appropriate thing to do to cats. Jenny tried it. She got very scratched up.

(This is a random internet cat, not the actual cat that Jenny scared.)

The Unexpectedly Popular Article

In case you don’t already know, I occasionally write articles for the website Ypulse. Ypulse explores what’s going on in generation Y. They have what they call a “Youth Advisory Board,” which I am a member of.

I had an idea for a while to do a blog post on the trends of today that are going to be mocked in 20 years. At the last minute I decided to turn it into a Ypulse article instead.

The article was titled “That’s So 2012: 10 Trends of Today That will be Mocked in 20 Years,” and it went up a week and a half ago.

Since then, the article has gotten 1,188 shares. Not views, but shares. 803 of them were on facebook, 47 of them on twitter, and the rest through other websites, thought I don’t know which ones specifically.

Of course in the grand scheme of viral things on the internet, 1000 shares isn’t that big of a deal. But it’s probably the most far-reaching internet article I’ve ever written. I mean, I once had a glitch where an inane post I did about snowflakes reached over 8,000 views because the image in the post popped up when people did google image searches for “snowflake,” but I’m not sure that counts, since they were just stealing the image and not actually reading the post. Besides that I only have two posts that ever exceeded 1000 views.

So yes, 1000+ shares makes this little writer quite giddy.

Dreaming of School

Unfortunately, as much as I love the warmth and sunshine of summer, my summers have always been quite boring. I guess there are trips to take and afternoons to swim, and people come visiting from hither and yon, but too much laziness fills the gaps between these events.

I am dreaming of school starting again. Of classes and homework and libraries and cafes and people everywhere. Of seeing free plays because I volunteer to usher, and making new friends, and drinking tea constantly, and walking past the Jehovah’s Witness table with their large sign declaring “HELL: not a place of suffering,” and looking to see who is arguing with them today.

Ah, September, I am waiting for you.