Sometimes God says to me, “do this.”
And then he says, “never mind. Do that.”
I’m not really sure why. But I am not, I repeat, NOT, going to Faith Builders this winter. (you know, Faith Builders, that little Mennonite college in Pennsylvania that I was going to go to, like, tomorrow….)
And yes I did make this decision the day before yesterday. I guess I am a last minute person. Or maybe I’m just a regular person who happens to do things at the last minute.
Now I must say that, not only did I decided randomly and suddenly to not go to Faith Builders, I also decided to QUIT MY JOB.
(A moment of silence, as the crowd gasps at my stupidity.)
It kind of happened accidentally. And I may very likely go back if my health improves. But the sad fact is, I am a completely unreliable grocery store clerk at the moment. I get very tired, so that my legs feel like sticks of string cheese, and my arms feel like they have no more strength than helium balloons.
Now, the big question. What am I going to do with my life until March? I mean, no job, no Faith Builders, no college this term (probably)….
I don’t know exactly, but here’s what I’d LIKE to do.
1. Volunteer EVERYWHERE
2. Finish my novel or maybe write a new one
3. Make friends with people who are my friends but are not that close of friends but will be close friends if I make time for them.
Of course you may be asking yourself how I am going to pay for college if I don’t have a job. Or how I am going to end up being a missionary if I don’t have the stamina to spend 6 hours a day checking out groceries.
Here’s the deal, though. If God says, “do college, become a missionary,” I do college and become a missionary.
If God says “never mind,” I say never mind.
It’s up to him to figure out the money and stamina aspects of these things.
The Girl in the Red Rubber Boots 
I am so sorry to hear that your illness is again limiting your options. You have such enthusiasm for life, so much to give and you bring joy to so many. I wish for you to have the full life you dream of. I will continue to remember you in my prayers.
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I’m so sorry! I know what it feels like to be in that in between stage when the future is shaky…it stinks! I don’t really know how to encourage you other than to say that God does have a good plan for your life. That doesn’t mean it will be easy, but His plans are always good. You’ll be in my prayers during the months to come!
-Gabrielle
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awww i would have got to meet you. I’m going out to FB for the first two weeks of winter term. Blessings to you as find and accept your path.
Rosanna
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We could use a once-a-week volunteer at LPSC in JC. Don’t know if that’s anything like what you’re wanting to do, Emily, but here’s our website: http://www.lanepregnancy.org/. ~Deanna
P.S. God bless your new year.
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I’ll be praying for you to make wise, God-honoring decisions, as I know you want to do! I know a little bit of this, since my wrist problems have limited my options quite a bit. I’m actually planning on spending the summer doing a missions internship in Bulgaria, but now my wrists have gotten worse again, after 6 months of being pretty well, and I’m concerned I’ll have to have surgery. But God’s plans are bigger than mine….
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so… I don’t think you know me… but I’m a random Canadian Mennonite young lady who likes to read your blog 🙂
and I just have to tell you that I loved this post! Even though you are in less-than-desired circumstances, you make the best out of life. “If God says, “Never mind”, I say never mind” – ahh..I need to learn to say that 🙂
God bless you, Emily!
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