April Birthday Week

There’s a particular week every April when most of my close female friends have birthdays. First Ashlie on April 16, then Phoebe on April 17, then Esta on April 20, then Jenny on April 21.

(If your birthday falls on April 18 or 19 maybe we’re destined to be close friends someday, lol.)

For today’s April Blogging Challenge, I’m going to write a small tribute to each of these particular women who’ve meant so much to me over the years.

Ashlie

One of the strange things about being in my 30s is that I have old friends that I met in adulthood. I met Ashlie ten years ago. Ten! So wild that it’s been that long.

I found a photo of us the weekend we met.

Back then, we were friends because we were both friends with the Wilcoxson girls. There was a whole friend group that sprung up around Sarah Beth, and when Sarah Beth moved away, Ashlie and I stayed friends. We were even roommates for a while.

I was obsessively frugal back then, with a tendency to stay home and self-isolate. Ashlie, on the other hand, was always sniffing out fun things to do and taking me along. We did Pride and Prejudice style dancing with a bunch of homeschooled kids. We went down to Ashland and watched a Shakespeare play from the nosebleeds. We hiked to hidden ponds glistening in the sun, where she swam and I didn’t because it was much too cold.

I am deeply affected by beauty, fun, and adventure—without it, the creative part of me dries up. This is why I don’t write much when I’m sick, even though I technically have a lot more time.

So much of the beauty, fun, and adventure I’ve experienced in the last ten years is because of Ashlie. Almost every photo I have of her is from a time we did something new and fun together.

Last summer we went to the fair and watched a concert from outside the fence so we didn’t have to pay. Ashlie has never quite cured me of my deeply frugal nature.

Riding a vintage train at the coast, between Garibaldi and Rockaway Beach.

We’ve gone to the beach together so many times it’s impossible to count. We eat snacks and read books.

Shakespeare in the park, and a picnic dinner.

This pic is pretty old, but it’s from a time we went to the coast with Christina, another member of the friend group that sprang up around Sarah Beth back in the day.

I don’t even remember where this was, but Ashlie found a darling place that was a combination vintage store and tea shop inside an old mansion.

I’m not much of a picture taker, but I have so many pictures just like these, of the two of us having fun times.

Ashlie is about to become a mother, so soon our friendship will look a little different than the spontaneous random adventures we’ve done for ten years. Nevertheless, Ashlie always brings beauty and fun wherever she goes, and I’m so excited for the future of our friendship.

Phoebe

Phoebe entered my life five years ago when she began dating my older brother Matt, and we had an instant connection because we’ve both struggled much of our lives with mysterious illnesses.

In 2019 they got engaged, and we were all so delighted to have her join our family. But we had no idea what a wild ride was before us.

First, before the wedding rolled around, Covid hit. Since both of them were working remotely and their families were in Oregon, they moved out here and my whole family spent a social-distanced Easter together.

Then, in June, they had a drive-in wedding.

I’m forever bummed that this photo is blurry, but it was a blurry moment, full of joy, horns honking, people clapping in their cars.

Those last few weeks of June were the first joyful moments I’d felt since Covid started, and then, the day Matt and Phoebe planned to move back to Houston, my Dad fell off a ladder and everything changed.

That terrible week, we sat on the hospital lawn and tried to understand the mountains of paperwork. And Phoebe was right there in the storm with us. The move to Houston was canceled, and she and Matt bought and Airstream and parked it in our driveway to help care for Dad during that long, excruciating recovery.

I didn’t realize, back then when I’d visit the Airstream occasionally for a cup of tea, that in a few years I’d live with Phoebe in their much larger Houston house. And that maybe on one of those dreadful days when we’re both feeling unwell and skittish we’d make boba tea and drive to the little bay beach to watch the waves in the most low-key excursion possible.

Or another day, feeling a little better, we’d go for a swim.

I appreciate so much about Phoebe. But I especially love her deep capacity for empathy and understanding.

Esta

Esta feels like the first friend I deliberately chose to be friends with. She was so cool, fun, interesting, and easy to talk to that even in those early days I went to extra lengths to keep the budding friendship going. But it wasn’t hard, as she seemed equally committed and interested in being friends.

We started out in the same life stage, living that single life with just enough boy drama to keep life interesting. Going to college and trying to scrape by on zero dollars.

But then she got married, and I stayed single.

Lucky for me, she married a guy that I’d grown up with and moved to Oregon. For many years I went to college and she raised babies, and I’d stop in when I was overwhelmed with life, folding laundry while Esta lent an empathetic ear and gave wise advice.

Keeping a vibrant friendship with someone in a totally different life stage is challenging but deeply rewarding. I like having children in my life even if I don’t have my own. I like hearing about childbirth and schooling decisions and marriage.

There are so many things I love and appreciate about Esta. But I think the thing that’s cemented our friendship is that we think similarly and like to talk about the same sorts of things, but our perspectives differ just enough that we’re always learning from each other.

I feel like we could be locked in a prison cell together for ten years and never run out of things to ponder and chat about.

Here we are having a chat and cup of tea with our friend Kayla.

Shopping for fabric with our friend Janessa for my America’s Next Great Author dress.

Last summer Esta and I overlapped briefly when she moved back to Oregon a few weeks before I went back to Houston at the end of the summer, and she came faithfully to my Red Barn Coffee Hour.

This summer, I am looking forward to many more cups of tea and good chats with my dear friend Esta. I can’t believe we’ve been friends for fifteen years, and I look forward to the next fifteen.

Jenny

Jenny, the youngest person with a birthday this week, is also the one I’ve been friends with the longest as she is my baby sister.

I don’t even know where to being describing all the fun and goofy things we’ve done together.

This girl is talented at everything she attempts, from baking bread to watercolor painting to sewing projects to music to volleyball to telling jokes to math and science and every smart thing.

She has a kind heart and is always a fun time.

Here’s a throwback to that Christmas when we both lived in that apartment in Blacksburg VA, and invited international students over for Christmas.

Jenny is all about traditions, nostalgia, and cultivating joy. That year, she bought a Christmas tree, decorated it with inexpensive and homemade ornaments, and then bought us matching pajamas.

I remember when Mom was pregnant with Jenny, and I, as an eight-year-old, was convinced that Jenny was too young to ever be a close friend.

How wrong I was! And how deeply blessed I was to be wrong.

I love you, Jenny. You are doing and will continue to do wonderful, world-changing things.

(P.S. If you like books and silly fun conversation, check out Jenny’s podcast, Idiot’s Alphabet Soup, that she does with her friend Kathrine! It’s on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and you can also follow what they’re doing on Instagram.)

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Thanks for reading this April Blogging Challenge post! I meant to post it yesterday but was debilitated by a migraine, so I’m posting today instead.

Be sure to check out Ben’s post about the challenges of living in disconnected worlds, which is probably the best ABC post so far this year!

Mom also wrote a great post about childbirth, and how we should be okay with talking about the trauma of it.

Mom will post again tomorrow, and then two days later, Phoebe will post on her blog.

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