Monthly Archives: August 2010

The Last Monday is the Worst

“Emily,” said Jenny, “are you free on Tuesday afternoon?”

“I don’t know. Why?”

“Well, me and my friends are planning…something.”

“I can be free on Tuesday afternoon if you want me too.”

Jenny smiled and gave me a big hug. Three free days to go before I leave, and now one afternoon spoken for.

I woke up this morning and immediately began sorting my stuff. Sort and pack, sort and pack. Why did I not begin to do this earlier? What I really want to do is read my book and drink tea like I’ve been doing the entire summer.

So I do. A small break.

The phone rings. Aunt Rosie says, “I’ve wanted to have you over before you left. Can you come over tonight?”

“Sure. I would love too.”

I settle down with my book. I should pack. But I’ll just read a little more.

The phone rings. Stephy says, “We need to do something before you leave. Would Wednesday afternoon work?”

Yes, it will. Tonight is spoken for. So is tomorrow and Wednesday and Thursday I am leaving. Why am I leaving so soon?

I went to Aunt Rosie’s house. There it was, in all it’s beauty. I had never seen the inside in their new house. I had never played with her children that much. We made beaded jewelry and had a tea party and I gave baby Kara a bath.

Why has it taken me so long to have an evening like this? Why don’t I know my little cousins as well as I should? But it is the last Monday. I can’t do this again for another year.

I drove down the freeway at night, sort of slow, with music I didn’t really like. Stars twinkled and there were little red taillights. A beautiful moment.

I stopped at the warehouse. I’ve always wanted to visit my brothers in the evening. Wouldn’t they be lonely there? And the warehouse at night is a beautiful place.

I put ink on bags. I lifted a sack of seed from the scales onto a pallet. I felt very strong. Steven laughed at me.

I went over to the pellet mill and talked to Justin for a while. It is the last Monday. Why have I not talked to him  more this summer?

Back to my car. Dad was there. He said, “Mom is worried. She is wondering where you are.”

Oh dear.

I walked in the door of my home. Amy and Jenny were excited. “She’s here! She’s here! What took you so long, Emily? We had a whole sister evening planned out!”

Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. We had a sister evening, still. But it was a short one.

Why is this my last Monday?

I am excited about College. I am hungry for adventure. It is true. But adventures come and have their duration and then end. Home never ends. It is always there, yet I can never have it.

Sometimes I don’t let it hurt me, but on the last Monday, it is hard.


Leftover Princess

Oh dear me. I have been neglecting my blog. Out of guilt, most likely, though it seems a strange reason to neglect one’s blog.

Princess Chloe’s blog is, of course, over. It had a very short lifespan. I expected it would. However, it accomplished it’s goal. I am now writing again.

The plot of Leftover Princess is changing somewhat. At first I made changes more to try and make it longer. They may or may not been a good idea. But no matter, one day I had an inspiration in a little bit of half-asleep time in between one dream and another. So I thought it all out in my head and then wrote it down and now I have the plot of Leftover Princess figured out.


Step 1: Finish it.

Step 2: Edit it again.

Step 3: Get someone to check it over with a fine tooth comb for grammer and spelling mistakes.

Step 4: Polish up the first chapter to make it shine.

Step 5: Find an agent!!!

See, the cool thing about being a published writer is that if you need help, you have all these friends who are in the business and willing to help you. The task of finding an agent does not seem nearly as daunting as it once did.

I always thought I would be a writer for the fun of it, and not for the money. Well, I was wrong. The biggest thing propelling me forward is the thought of getting money for college.


I am leaving on Thursday and in my mind, college is going to be a beautiful Utopia fairy tale life.

Now, it is true that I have thought this about many other lives. My fairy tale house in Colorado, for instance, which looked so beautiful but only made me lonely and depressed and sick. And it was falling apart in the corners.


But I can’t base everything on that because other lives, like Bible School and living with Esta and such, were more magical than I could have expected. So, you know, expecting college to be magical can’t be that big of a stretch, can it?

Today Mom bought a backpack purse at a garage sale for a dollar and when she came home she found two black leather gloves inside. She gave them to me. So now I have black leather gloves for college.

I guess I have most things I could possibly want.

I have a car, you know. Of course it’s technically Dad’s, not mine. And also it is kind of ugly. I always wanted a cute car, like this:

Instead I got an ordinary ugly sand-colored Toyota Corolla.

So of course I wasn’t that excited about it at first. But then I learned some interesting facts about this car.

For one, her name is Princess Goldie. She isn’t really gold colored, but she thinks she is. In fact, she thinks she’s the coolest car on the road, and that driving slow is cool. Anything feathery or pink or sparkly that I put in the car she adores.

It’s quite funny, really.

She thinks she looks like this:

Or, at least like this.

(I can’t believe it. This picture almost makes my car look cool.)

So I must say, ever since I actually got to know my car I haven’t minded her looks. She’s just so much fun to be around.

But there is one thing I want. One thing, besides college tuition and rent and groceries and such, that I would like to splurge on.

A turquoise blue old fashioned bicycle.

Ah, beautiful beautiful beautiful.

So that is my motivation. I’ve already spent my advance in my head. A turquoise blue old fashioned bicycle first, and then tuition.

I can’t wait for college. And to get a book published. And for my life to turn out perfectly. Tee hee.

Of course I’m ignoring the glaringly obvious drawback to all this, which is leaving my beautiful Oregon home.

Ah well.

Such is life.

Goodnight, fair blog readers.

Another Blog

I decided that I need a new and unique way to inspire myself to write about Princess Chloe and her sisters. Thus, Princess Chloe now has a blog.

I don’t really know how long this will last. But I guarantee that if you comment and such it will inspire a longer lasting blog life.

Now, behind the story of Princess Chloe’s blog, there is another story. The story goes like this:

When I was 17 I went to South Carolina for two weeks to stay with my sister. I was very sick at the time. The trip was extremely profound for me, because my life was so boring that going to visit her felt like, I don’t know, going to Narnia or something.

If you have read my book there is a good chance that you will know exactly what I am talking about.

Back then I wrote my diary on the computer, and saved it with a password. But while I was in South Carolina I didn’t have my computer along, since my computer was a desktop, so I made new documents on Amy’s computer and had  her email them to me later. Or maybe I just wrote my diary in emails and emailed them to myself. I couldn’t remember.

When I was writing my book, I looked for the diary entries I had written during this significant time in my life, and couldn’t find them anywhere.

I looked on my computer.

I looked on Amy’s computer.

I looked all over

I even looked all over my old email that I never use anymore,

They were nowhere to be found. I had to rely on memory,  blog posts, and diary entries that I had written about the trip after I came back. It was very disappointing.

So, back to the whole thing of Chloe’s blog. It was very late at night and I had this weird urge to start a blog for Princess Chloe. So I went to and tried to make a new blog. But when I put as my email address, they said, “Sorry! that email address is already in use!”

So just today I discovered that if I’m already signed in as EmilySmucker, I can add another blog to the same account. Or something like that. But I did not know that then, and so I put in my alternate email address, I don’t check that email address often. Just once a month or so. I keep it on hand just for situations like this, and also for IM.

When signed into my hotmail account they said I had a message from Brandon Beach, and when I clicked, it took me to a page that was like my inbox, only it only showed messages from my IM contacts. There weren’t very many, but there were some from Emily Smucker with “Diary” as the title.

Could it be?

Yes, it was. The missing diary material from when I was in SC. Or you could say, the missing chapter of my book. 🙂 Perhaps I should edit it and put it up here sometime.

I have no idea why I emailed it to my hotmail account. It makes very little sense. And of course I never saw it when I checked that email adress every now and again because it was buried way down deep in the depths of various windows updates.


That is the end of the story.

Go read Princess Chloe’s Blog.

(And if you’re curious to know what Brandon Beach emailed me about, I am too. All I could see was a random string of letters and numbers. But maybe it was supposed to be some sort of birthday greeting because it was sent on my birthday.)