The Girl in the Red Rubber Boots

I am tired all the time. Recently, it has occurred tome that this is NOT NORMAL.

During December I tried to work at Grocery Depot. After four-ish hours I would get so tired that my eyes had trouble focusing, and I would move sluggishly. My head would say, “Okay Emily. Pick up the box of granola bars. See how it has the picture of the dinosaur on the front? Put it on the shelf in front of the other boxes that look like it. Now, walk back to the cart. Pick up another box. Put it on the shelf. It’s okay, you won’t collapse. Just keep doing your job.”

That sort of internal dialogue was the only way I could remember what to do next, and eventually someone would come and say, “just go home, Emily.”

So I would. I would go home and sleep for hours, and then I quit the job because I felt guilty being so unreliable.

I knew I needed to work on my health. I knew I slept too much. But really, I’ve always struggled with being unhealthy and lazy, and this just seemed to be a normal extension of that.

Last term I carpooled with Stephy. We went straight from Linn Benton to Brownsville and I would let her drive while I napped in the car. Then I’d teach my class, and nap until she was ready to go home. Sometimes the students would comment on how much I slept. I didn’t know how to take that.

Yesterday, I thought of two things.

#1: There is not a moment of the day where I don’t feel a desire to snuggle up in bed and take a nap.

#2: This is not normal.

Sometimes it’s okay. If I am relatively alert I can go about my daily functions and not think about the fact that I want to sleep. It’s the afternoons that kill me. Around 2:00 pm, if I cannot make it to a bed, I can’t concentrate on anything because my thoughts are consumed with sleep.

Mornings at home and evenings at home I go around sluggishly, trying to ignore that wonderful bed upstairs, waiting, just waiting, for me to sleep in it.

…

Having to quit my job should have tipped me off that my excessive sleepiness was going to seriously hinder what I could do in life. It didn’t. Instead it’s been these past two weeks, first with convention and now with full-time college again, that made me think.

I CAN’T DO THIS. It’s not just a matter of forcing myself to do it, of not being lazy, of getting over myself. I LITERALLY CAN’T DO THIS.

Group Bible Speaking has a command performance tonight!!! I am so proud!!

Poor Alicia fell down while running the 200m this morning. At first I thought she had just slipped, but no, her legs just gave out. Poor thing. She sliced up her knee, so I’m not sure how she is going to fall down and bow to the idol in Group Bible Speaking this evening.

I am thinking of writing a blog post on how to get free things. I am getting better and better at this, especially when it comes to tea. I get free tea all the time. This is how:

1. I carry tea bags in all my pockets and purses.

2. I try to carry a mug around.

3. If I see a room that looks like it might have a microwave in it, I try the handle to see if it is locked.

Last year at convention I went tea-less because I couldn’t find hot water. This year I have found four hot-water stations to date, three of which include cups and sugar, and two of which have tea bags.

Mrs. Klone and I were discussing how thrifty we are during one of my trips to Grand Central for tea. It started when I saw a bucket of flowers on her desk, and asked if Mr. Klone had given them to her. She told me that Mr. Klone used to buy her flowers, but she didn’t really like it, because she’d rather save that money. Apparently there was a funeral in the Grand Central room right before convention started, and she rescued the leftover flowers which were going to get thrown away.

Then she told me a story about a man at her church, who used to gather flowers for his girlfriend from the graveyard he walked through on his way to her house.

Apparently he figured that the dead people wouldn’t know the difference, so why not?

Yesterday, we discovered that Steven had come to convention with only one dress shoe.

Oops.

I texted Mom and said, “If you find a ride for Steven’s shoe, please send up my swimsuit.” Because there is a swimming pool here at our hotel.

Today, after hours and hours of judging platform events, we finally got off and I went to supper. On the way I ran into a whole gaggle of Brownsville boys.

“Emily!” they said, wide eyed and horrified.

“Yes?”

“We saw your bathing suit!”

Hmm. Really? Later, I tried to track it down. I asked Dad if he had seen it.

“There was something flying around in the van, and the boys were giggling,” said Dad. “But when I asked what it was, they handed me a bag with some shoes in it.”

“I don’t get it,” I said. “Why is a swimsuit so funny?”

“Well, you know boys. Things are funny. Like farts.”

I didn’t exactly see how a swimsuit was like farting, but whatever. Dad found my swimsuit, on the floor of the van, and everything was fine.

Let me see. Shanea got second in ping pong, but was beat by Melinda, who is the famous ping-pong nemesis. Maybe next year Shanea will finally best her.

Maybe I shouldn’t call Melinda a nemesis. She is the sweetest nicest little lady. But she is a beast at ping-pong, and she always just beats the Brownsville girls. Humph.

If you think chilvery is dead, you should go to an ACE convention. I am just saying, you pretty much never have to open a door for yourself. People carry your dishes, say “yes ma’am” when you ask them a question, and wear ties all the time. Except, of course, the Mennonite boys don’t wear ties.

“Why arent you wearing ties?” One boy asked us.

“We’re Mennonite,” said Shane.

“Oh.” The boy paused, then said, “I still don’t get it.”

There was a very awkward silance. The boys stumbled around, not sure what to say. Finally a girl who was with the questioning boy said, “I think it’s against their religion.”

Well, I need to get my young ladies to bed. Till next time!

I finally found my internet! Yay!

Right now I’m a sponsor at the ACE Regional Student Convention. Actually, RIGHT NOW I am a judge for platform events. What a busy crazy life.

The student did AMAZING on their singing of “Prepare Ye” last night. Wow. I got shivers. Will they win? I don’t know, but they COULD win.

 Spencer made this amazing trunk for woodworking. Looking at it made me think, “no one else would even need to bother.” When I mentioned something of the sort, trying to be funny, the other kids with woodworking projects got annoyed at me.

Oops. 

I should realize some time that I’m not all that funny, especially when I am spouting things to try to break the awkwardness of being the one in charge.

It just makes things more awkward.

Students are also cleaning it up in pace bowl, so we’ll see if that trend continues. As usual, even though Steven in the best checkers player in the school he got out as soon as he played a girl. Ha. Kendall is still in the running, and Alicia and Shanea are dominating in ping pong.

Till later!